everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize