so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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