ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Vodka?
Forever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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