We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
