Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
