I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
