I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize