I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
