He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
