I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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