we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
