New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize