soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
