Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
