whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
