So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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