I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize