I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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