I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
