I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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