u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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