that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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