Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
