Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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