I want to stick my p in your. b.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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