They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize