I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
