Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
