trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
