Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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