All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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