Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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