It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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