stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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