I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
