God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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