weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he was CRYING into my vagina
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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