why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
