I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize