I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
