So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need a burrito and a hug.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
