Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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