i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
