David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
