If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
