ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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