oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
