She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
