Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
