Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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