Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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