i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
