your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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