Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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