i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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