is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
