I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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