Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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