I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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