Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
