Well apparently he's into motor boating.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
