Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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